London-based high society monthly rag Tatler has published an etiquette guide to using social media, with some hilarious new rules.

The list appears in the April issue of the posh peoples’ magazine and includes suggestions on which WhatsApp features should be avoided, what kinds of photos should and should not be shared on social media and not placing engagement announcements on Instagram. It even asks the question: “Should you Instagram while staying at Balmoral?” Well of course not.

The 118 year old magazine, which is published by media group Condé Nast, tweeted a glimpse of the rules to its 72,000 Twitter followers, saying: “The status update: the new social laws of engagement. Tatler hits refresh on the new social rules”.

The company said one “unbreakable rule” still remained sacred regardless of which app its readers preferred: “phones away in company”.

Here’s a snipped of the rules Tatler is advocating, although we have a sneaking suspicion it’s all a bit tongue in cheek:

On Messaging apps

1. WhatsApp groups are to be avoided when organising a party. There should be some mystery as to who’s coming.
2. If you’ve been included in a group, do not leave. It will offend people. (Only the Hon Philippa Cadogan can get away with this.)
3. Inter-generational WhatsApping is best avoided – although aristocratic family chats are now de rigueur, the wittiest being the De La Warr/Hopetoun clique.
4. Turning off the blue ticks is advisable for those prone to severe social anxiety.

Photography on social media

1. You may post pictures of other people’s gardens, but never post pictures of the inside of their houses without permission.
2. You may post pictures of other people’s pets, but not of their children.
3. Engagement announcements are for The Times, not your Instagram feed.
4. For new friends of royals: the social-media blackout should be observed zealously.
5. Never post a picture of an invitation unless you want it to be rescinded.
6. Weddings: if the couple have put an @ or a # on the invitation, it is acceptable – even compulsory – for you to post pictures of their wedding. If they do not, you may not.
7. When meeting someone you follow for the first time IRL, do not pretend that you don’t know who they are.

Old rules die hard

1. Do not send bills to your guests. Even if they rip up a Rembrandt and smash the Sèvres. (You can be more selective in future though.)
2. Never, ever ask your guests to take off their shoes.
3. Never give your host Hotel Chocolat chocolates – they’ll know immediately that you bought them at the station.
4. Name-dropping is out. Name-dropping long-dead ancestors is passé.