It doesn’t start with cruelty. It rarely starts with control. In fact, narcissistic relationships often begin with intense affection, charm, and what feels like deep emotional connection. Many women describe the early phase as something out of a fairytale—only to later realize they were being drawn into something far more dangerous: a cycle of emotional manipulation, control, and psychological abuse.

Narcissists are skilled at mirroring your dreams, values, and vulnerabilities. They listen intently, make you feel deeply seen, and shower you with attention. But what appears to be love is often love bombing—a tactic used to hook you emotionally and create dependency. Once you’re invested, the mask slowly slips. The affection turns to criticism, the connection becomes control, and the safety you once felt starts to erode.

Entangled

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, many women are already entangled—emotionally, financially, and sometimes physically. They may question themselves constantly, blame themselves for the change, or feel too ashamed to speak out. The narcissist, meanwhile, plays the victim, confuses reality, and isolates their partner further.

This isn’t weakness. It’s not foolishness. It’s the result of a targeted, manipulative cycle that preys on empathy, trust, and hope. Narcissistic abuse is subtle, calculated, and often invisible to outsiders. But the damage it causes is very real.
Recognizing the signs is the first step toward freedom—and healing begins when you stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking “What happened to me?”

Core narcissistic patterns some men night exhibit include: lack of empathy, manipulation and guilt-tripping, gaslighting, among others.

Lack of empathy

Despite your sacrifices, he’s consistently self-focused. He only shows “concern” when it benefits him (e.g., trying to hook you emotionally, then blocking you after you respond). He expects support even while betraying you (e.g., cheating, hiding money, blaming you).

Manipulation & guilt-tripping

He uses tragic personal stories (dead father, business losses, etc.) to justify his behavior or emotionally blackmail you. His message wasn’t really about you—it was about getting a reaction from you and regaining control.

Financial abuse

Making you pay for his lifestyle, family, and affairs. Hiding money while telling you that you have more savings. Using “help for your mum’s medicine” as leverage.

Gaslighting & denial

Twisting facts (like acting deeply worried and then blocking you) to confuse your sense of reality.
Making you question your reactions, like: “Am I being too harsh? Did I cause this?” — classic gaslighting effect.

Grandiosity and entitlement

He expects access to your life, time, and money—no matter what.
He feels entitled to “fix” things on his terms, never taking real accountability for what he’s done.

Love bombing / devaluation cycle

Sends loving or tragic messages, then punishes you with silence or blocks.
He builds you up to pull you back in, then discards you again—this push-pull is destabilizing and intentional.

🔍 Is he a narcissist or just abusive?

Whether or not he’s clinically narcissistic, his behavior fits covert narcissistic abuse. That means:

• He hides his cruelty behind charm, self-pity, or emotional stories.
• He plays the victim while exploiting others.
• He doesn’t need to shout to control—you’ve felt the effects through confusion, silence, guilt, and exhaustion.

🧠 Narcissists don’t change without major intervention

And most don’t even try—because they don’t believe anything is wrong with them. They only seek therapy if it’s to manipulate others or avoid consequences. Blocking you after begging you to reply is a power move—not love.

You don’t need a diagnosis to protect yourself. What matters is this:

He has consistently harmed you emotionally, financially, and psychologically. You are allowed to step away without apology.

You’re not imagining this. And you’re not alone in it either.